Mosaic: A New Way Of Thinking...

I know it's long...but please read, I feel this is something that God has laid on my heart and wants you to hear...

I've had a change of perspective. Hopefully I'll be finding my way out of my spiritual funk, and maybe some of you who read my blog will be following? Who knows what my (God's) words speak.
I was asked to do the jr. high group this Sunday as Tom will be out of town. We are studying this book, "It's Not About Me" by Max Lucado. I read it through completely about 3 months ago but, sorry Tom if you're reading this..., haven't picked it back up since then :) Anyway, this week I was forced to study it again, and I realize now that God had something to say to me, really something to remind me.
Since coming back from Liberia, I guess, I've been in a 'funk' you could say. I haven't wanted to do quiet time with God, ok...let me be honest here...I haven't picked up my bible, (with the exception of church and bible study, when we have met) since being back almost 6 months ago. The only time I pray is at night with Colten (cause I have to set a good example) and at dinner time. Even then, it's not really talking to God, It's a 'must do' kinda thing. I'd get frustrated cause I don't like being this way, but had no real reason to fix it, and no drive to get out of it.
I read a chapter titled: "My Struggles Are About Him". Let me tell you some of the things that stuck out to me...
1. A faithful missionary and his wife were kidnapped and while an attempt to rescue them the husband was shot and died, the wife shot in the leg and left a widow with children to raise, a quote in the book stuck out to me, "Is this how God honors his chosen?" Through our journey, I've had the mentality that I'm doing this for God shouldn't we get an extra dose of "God favor" on our journey?

2. Psalms 103:8-11)
"God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he's rich in love. He doesn't endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in fulll for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him.

3. Your pain has a purpose. Your problems, struggles, heartaches, and hassles cooperate toward one end-the glory of God.
Pslam 50:15
"Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory."

4. Speaking of the 'cards' you've been dealt by God to reveal his glory, a conversation that might have taken place while God was creating...
"Mary, be a mother to my son."
"Peter, you'll be my first preacher"
"Matthew, the first gospel? It's all your's?"
The God turns to another man, "And You?"
"Yes, Lord?"
"You'll be blind for my glory."
"I'll be blind?"
"Yes."
"For Your glory?"
"Yes."
"But I don't understand?"
"You'll see"
I don't understand the 'cards' God has dealt me lately, but I am reminded it is for a purpose, for his Glory, and I've forgotten that simple fact that I'm not my own, I exist to bring Glory to Him, ALL OF ME, even my struggles.
I first created this blog so I could let God's light shine through our journey and hopefully through our amazing journey people would be drawn to him. This blog was supposed to be a means for you to see that light and I'm sad to say it hasn't been lately.

My favorite quote of all from this chapter reminded me of something I heard at a conference at one time.
Here's the quote from the book, POWERFUL!
"HIS LIGHT PRISMS THROUGH THEIR ACHING LIVES AND SPILLS FORTH IN A CASCADE OF COLORS. GOD-GLIMPSES
This quote reminded me of the beauty of a mosaic. What is a mosaic???
"Broken pieces that form a picture (my life, and yours), but when the light (Jesus) shines through, it is beautiful and people are drawn to it."
We are all a work of art, a beautiful mosaic being formed for God's Glory.

May His light shine through me till this journey comes to an end.

A Little Light...

Well, it's not much but it's something! We learned today that this past week, the minister of Justice was moved to another position in the government of Liberia. This is great news b/c this was the man who refused to sign paperwork when families were finalized and ready to bring home their children. He is against adoptions in Liberia and was a major hold up for families.
Now there is a new woman in his position, who apparently is frustrated with adoptions not going anywhere. This could be good news for our adoption. We'll see how it all plays out. Just thought I'd pass along some positive news to all of you.
Still has nothing to do with the ban being lifted, but is hope that God is working when we can't see it.

Always good to get a Surprise!

We just got back from a week at church camp, with a horse theme wich Matt was excited about! I was hoping the whole week we'd come back and have an awesome message waiting that said the ban had been lifted. That didn't happen, but we did get an email with some pictures of Onah and Marie :) That was a nice surprise.
Better yet, in the pictures they are wearing the clothes we took to them in February when we saw them :)
So now Colten can see his little brother in his hand-me-down clothes!


Good to see a smile back on my little boy's face :)


Bummed to see Marie's hair buzzed off, but it is the rainy hot season. She's probably more comfortable. Isn't that dress so cute!


Don't know what the 'surrender pose' was all about???


Work them legs girl!!! She'll be walking soon I'm sure!


This is an awesome picture of all the kiddos at the AFAA house. It's neat now that we know all the children to get to see them and see how all of them are growing. We not only look for the faces of our little ones but love to see the faces of all the children that we grew to love when we were there! Onah is trying to be such a big boy :) I think he's trying to hold up a peace sign like the older boys :) Good to see them feeling better!

A Little Scare

This is a picture of Onah that was taken by Karen when she visited. She just got back 3 days ago. She didn't get a picture of Marie since she was in the hospital...please read below...
So I've been waiting to post about this until I got all the information. I was also waiting till I calmed down a bit so you didn't hear me ranting on :)
We have been in contact with a woman we know who just got back from Liberia. While she was there she visited the AFAA house to check in on the children. (This woman is not affiliated with our agency). She contemplated on whether to contact us or not and in the end thought as a mother she would want to know. So we receive an email from her asking us to call her and that she saw our babies and they were really sick.
Immediately I panic! I want to be there, what mom wouldn't want to be there with her babies when they are sick! Luckily Matt talked to Karen cause I cried throughout the whole conversation. The thoughts, "this isn't fair" kept running through my head.
So she tells us the details...Onah has been fighting a malaria attack and thrash (a common rash in Liberia that covers the whole body head to foot). He's lost a lot of weight and is half the baby he once was. Very lethargic and whiney, not smiley like his usual self. She then said, she didn't get to see Marie as she was in the hospital with a Malaria attack. She had been in the hospital for a few days and was ready to be released but the doctors wanted to run more tests.
I go from panic, weepy, to angry! Why did we not know about this? And why are we finding out from someone who 'just happened to visit', remember our children, our number, and contact us? Why is our agency not sharing this information with us and why have we not heard anything come out of Liberia for over a month? I wanted answers! So we emailed our agency with all of our questions. We then emailed our friends in Liberia Dan and Bea (the minister of the church in Monrovia) and asked them if they wouldn't mind checking on our babies.
So...
The next day, not a very restful night of sleep, we receive some answers. Our agency received our message at 3 am and immediately called Liberia to find out what was going on. Oretha told Cheryl the babies were doing better. She said Onah was recovering from the thrash still but doing much better. She attributed his weight loss to getting taller, moving around more, and lack of appetite from his sickness. She said Marie spent 3 days in the hospital from a Malaria attack. She said it was common in Liberia since 100% of the people have Malaria and it is malaria season right now. She said it's normal for them to hospitalize the babies with malaria cause the hospital knows that there is an american who will foot the bill. Which I'm glad they do cause that's one of the number one killers in infants in Liberia...malaria. (Colten hates mosquitos now! We tried to tell him about it and he doesn't understand why God made mosquitos mean :)
Marie is back at the AFAA house and recovering as well. From my research Malaria is like the worst flu ever. You go from hot to freezing cold back and forth, vomitting, loss of appetite, dehydration, etc... Once you have it, you can treat it but not get rid of it. It lays dormant in your body and flares up with 'malaria attacks' where you will treat it again.
I was glad to get answers but never heard an apology about not being informed. That kinda bothered me a little bit, but I know the lady we are working with is a very prideful woman and not one to apologize much, maybe after all this she will start communicating better?
In other good news we also received an email from Dan in Liberia. Here is his reply back to us...
Dear Matthew,

As a matter of fact I was at the home and did see the kids. Marie looks great. She was in class when I arrived in the home. I saw her only when I was on my way out. Onah was sick but is feeling better now. It seems like she has lost a lot of weight, but I think pretty soon she will put on the weight that she lost, as she is looking strong and eating well. As I held her in my hands, she cired the same way she did when you were here. I saw and visited with Oretha , who filled me in on the kids' health. I did not carry my camera, so I did not take their picture. I plan to do so the next time I am there--Bea wants to go with me at that time. We will do whatevr we can to keep you posted.

Dan

We were a little confused as to whether or not we were talking about the same children. Marie would not be old enough to be in class. So we think he's thinking of the wrong little girl. There is another little girl there who is a year older than Onah, he might have her confused with Marie. We asked him about that and sent him pictures of Onah and Marie, but haven't heard back from him yet.
It gave me some peace of mind knowing that Dan and Bea had been thinking about our babies and checked in on them right at the right time. We are so blessed to have met them and have their friendship. It's almost like I have someone on the inside who 'has my back' :)

So in all, I'm feeling a little more at ease. Still wish I was there to love them like a mommy should, but one day they'll have so much of that they'll get sick of it :)

One last bit of information that was passed along to us from Karen is that the bill has passed the senate and is with the president now. She is in no hurry however to lift the ban as she has some concrete evidence from the US homeland securty that in fact children from Liberia had been used in child trafficking. She is going through a grueling interveiw process with 300 employees making cuts left and right to get out the 'bad apples'. She was on #10 of 300 when Karen left.
However, like everything else this is conflicting too cause Cheryl says her sources are not reliable and AFAA has not heard any news of this kind. They say the bill is still at the Senate via our contacts in the government. Who knows!!! Only God knows what's going on I guess. Keep sending prayers up with us that the ban will soon be lifted and children can come home to their families who miss and long for them so much.