Missing my Babies!

The last two days have been hard. I really miss the babies. All day during 'down time' yesterday I had to fight back the tears. I just wanted to be able to say Happy Birthday to Onah. Even to put a phone up to his ear and tell him...something! It just didn't seem right that I couldn't tell him. Then when midnight rolled around and to feel defeated like it's over I missed it! I missed his first birthday, that was hard.
Today didn't help much with the yucky weather! As I sat to do my devotion they were all I could think about. It seems like a million years ago since I held them. I've forgotten so much! Their smell, their squishy diaper, their little fingers wrapped around mine, I've forgotten it all and what it felt like. I miss them so much! I so badly want them home to do the things that mommies should do with their babies. I walk by their room every day and can't help but walk in and take a peek thinking of what it would be like if they filled that room with their laughter, even their crying, I don't care, just to have their presence. I keep picturing the day they are home and how much joy we will have and no more worries. I long for that day. A huge weight will be lifted off my chest.
I watch Colten play with babies and see how awesome of a big brother he is and wish he had that. I know he's going to love being a big brother and wish I could give that to him now. I wish he could play with his brother and sister.
Onah got the perfect birthday card yesterday, it was an airplane birthday card from grandma and papaw Lee and they wrote, "I wish we could fly you home"! Me too!! I will be screaming for joy when that day comes! I can't wait. I hope it's soon! Until then I continue to pray that God moves...VERY SOON! I know he won't give me more than I can handle, but I think I'm getting to my max here!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Onah is 1 years old! Happy birthday big boy! Mommy misses you so much and wishes you were here to celebrate! We will definitely celebrate when you come home!
Love you lots!

Bad News...

I can tell it's just going to be one of those bad days. I didn't want to get out of bed when Matt woke me this morning to tell me the news. I can't begin to describe to you how ANGRY I am with the GOL (government of Liberia). I absolutely cannot tolerate UNICEF, who claims to help children but hurts more than they help, and has been nothing but problems to the children of Libiera. I heard last night in bible study the phrase: wiifm...that's what UNICEF is all about (what's in it for me). I know I'm rambling you just want to know why, a bill was passed yesterday in the house in Liberia. It was the Child's Bill. While some of the things discussed in the bill will be awesome for the chidren and help the future of the children in Liberia, some of the things were downright ingnorant and will "sign the death certificates of many children in Liberia", as the words of the director of our agency states. The GOL doesn't understand that the first step has to be they need to take off their blinders and go beyond their thick fancy doors to see their country and have a heart to help first and foremost! They are on a paradise island in a starving and hurting country. They need to help their people instead of look out for themselves...wiifm!
In the bill, pertaining to adoption, they passed a law that adoptive families will need to stay in the country for 4 MONTHS to finalize the adoption. I don't know what they ar thinking! Who in our country's condition, can leave their family, job, and home for 4 months and be expected to come back have a job, and a home to support children they just adopted? I wonder where they get these people? I've been to Liberia, I know what it's like. Where will people live? You'd have to build a home to live there for 4 months! The hotels there are between 100-300 dollars a night! A person without a job can't afford that for 4 months! It's just absolutely obserd! They have no jobs to offer their own people let alone someone coming in to live for 4 months! I don't know what to think about all of this. I'm still in the shock mode...which is why this email might seem all random.
I keep praying to see God do something HUGE here, and keep wondering when that's going to happen. Hopelessness sets in almost every day, and I don't know how much more I can take. Cheryl had said to the ministry of social welfare that she would need to know where the government was going to place the children when this bill is put into action because there is no way families can make this happen. I CAN'T give up my children! It will just rip my heart right out! They can't expect us to just roll over and give them up!
It comes across to me that the GOL does not want adoptions in their country. I know that UNICEF had a huge part in passing the bill and putting many of the stipulations into it. From the beginning of this whole issue they have not been in favor of adoptions there because the more adoptions Liberia has the more chidren they lose to help. Which you would think this would be a good thing! But the more children they lose to help the less money they get to fund their efforts. They have threatened to pull out of the country if this happens which forces the GOL to do something about it. UNICEF might be able to feed the starving children, but how can they give them an education? How can they give them a home? How can they give them the constant love of a mother and father? They can't! And they are stripping that hope away from the children of Liberia.
I don't know what God has in store through all this but I'm so confused right now I don't know what ends up anymore. Our only hope is that the President of Liberia is wise enough to see that this won't work and will decline the bill. Please Please pray for the president to make a wise decision and to seek God's will. I know she is a God-fearing woman...I just pray she consults Him first, and makes the right decision. Pray for Matt and I as we have many unwanted emotions right now, and pray for Onah and Marie and what the future might hold for them.
I really hope today gets better...maybe the sun will come out?